1. Posted by mistermacgillicutty on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 8:30 am PDT

Usage of "ma'am" and "sir" depends on geography: in the South, people still say ma'am and sir, and children are often told to call adults "miss" or "mister" and the person's first name: "Miss Jane" or "Mr. John." Not stiff or awkward, but good etiquette specific to this region.

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2. Posted by paulmcg on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 5:44 pm PDT

how about blinkers in traffic or driving at or above posted speeds and not brakeing while going down hills you should write a driving manners because those are completely lost.

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3. Posted by katy_elwood on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 5:45 pm PDT

THIS IS TRUE. YES, MA'AM, NO MA'M...YES SIR , NO SIR ALWAYS USE THESE RULES WHEN SPEAKING TO SOMEONE FROM THE SOUTH PROPER. ON THE OTHER HAND, NEVER NEVER USE THESE TERMS WHEN SPEAKING TO PERSONS IN THE NORTH. MISSING THE MARK ON EITHER POINT WILL CAUSE A VOLITILE REACTION FROM THE PARTY BEING ADDRESSED.

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4. Posted by Shanna M on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 5:49 pm PDT

I completely disagree with them on getting rid of Ma'am and Sir and not having my children address adults as Mrs or Mr. These are long held traditions and manners that are being lost to informality. My children will be raised to say yes, sir/ma'am and to call elders by Mrs and Mr... it is a sign of respect, which so many adults lack, let alone kids, because their parents didn't enforce these simple customs/manners. And for those that live in the south, these simple customs/manners are alive and enforced. If you feel old because I call you Sir/Ma'am... you need to refocus on what is being said!!! So what if you feel old.

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5. Posted by runswscissors12 on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 5:55 pm PDT

I agree about the kids calling people ma'am, sir, Mr. or Mrs. How uncomfortable for the kids to use good old fashioned manners. Very stiff. We just have our kids say yeah and uh huh and make up funny nicknames for our adult friends. I think that is better don't you.

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6. Posted by Lisa S on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 6:10 pm PDT

Having lived in both the north and the south, I can tell you that the use of Ma'am and Sir, Miss and Mr. are geographical. Moving from the south to the north, I was always described and complemented on my manners. Having spent most my years in the north, I appreciated visits to the south where adults were shown respect by use of ma'am's and sirs, and the mr. and mrs. Southern children visiting us in the north are always described as having better manners because of the way they address adults. Yes, it was a shock the first time someone addressed me as Ma'am...but contrasting friends using first names verses Miss Lisa, or Yes Ma'am... I will take the more polite version every time... What is more often replaced than not is yeah, no and Lisa (I'm not their friend, I'm their parent's friend).

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7. Posted by marquee on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 6:11 pm PDT

yeah..I am so glad people still realize the essence of good manners and right decorum...

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8. Posted by nicholasmls on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 6:33 pm PDT

Completely disagree with the Mr or Mrs to adults.You rarely see children show respect for adults these days, they often speak to adults the same way they would with there juvenile friends. Mr or Ms the first name is a nice comprimise.

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9. Posted by hope u on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 6:55 pm PDT

It certainly is NOT outdated for kids to call all adults Mrs, Ms or Mr. It is good manners.

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10. Posted by Chantal on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 6:57 pm PDT

Totally disagree with children not calling adults (even their friends' parents) Mr. or Mrs. Are you kidding me? If I called my friend's parents by a name without the 'Mr. or Mrs.', my parents would kill me! If I have children, I will certainly teach them to address adults properly. I was raised to respect adults and always address them properly. Kids today have poor manners and they could benefit from a few old fashioned lessons in good manners. And there's nothing wrong with calling people Ma'am or Sir either. I don't care if you think it's old fashioned. I'd rather be over polite than offensive especially in front of older adults. Give me a break. Some people actually appreiciate it when there are people in the world who still have decent manners.

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11. Posted by brucelizz@sbcglobal.net on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:02 pm PDT

I think you are off base with the Mr. and Mrs. advice. It is a simple show of respect. I don't believe children should speak in the same manner to adults as they do their peers, and that includes using first names.

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12. Posted by cosmicjunkiexxx on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:07 pm PDT

Wow, You are so of the mark with this!!! Yes Ma'am and Sir are good manners, it's a shame the rest of the world seems to have lost theirs. All the kids always called me Ms Cathie, it was kind of like a term of endearment. As in calling someone Auntie.

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13. Posted by Dagny on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:13 pm PDT

I totally disagree that kids should call adults by their first names. It's completely disrespectful and eliminates the line of authority between adults and minors. Even worse is the trend of schools allowing students to call their teachers by their first names! Children are not equals of adults, as much as most 30 and 40-somethings want to make them, and there should be that line drawn. I agree with Lisa above, that I am not the children's friend, I am their parents' friend, and expect to be addressed as such, Ms. Smith, not Jenny or even worse, nothing (as some kids do).

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14. Posted by up4itohio on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:15 pm PDT

You didn't specify if your children were invited to address other adults by their friendly first names -- the adult should have the choice -- frankly, I don't consider your children my friends

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15. Posted by rotorhead5000 on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:17 pm PDT

The dropping of the Mr. and Mrs is a wonderful thing, reguardles of where you are. The forcing of such arbitrary social manerisms makes the children out to feel like they are second class citicens, which is hardly good for self esteem among other things. I graduated from a high school where students and teachers are all on a first name basis, and it was marvelous, because you create more of an emotional attatchment to the professors than you would were there an honerifics barrier in the way. SO as such, Mr. and Mrs. are mad outdated.

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16. Posted by diamondsbys on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:18 pm PDT

Children should always call adults by Mr., or Miss !! How rude to call an adult by their first name! I'm am from the South and I would have had my mouth popped if I would have dared call an adult their first name. Who ever wrote that rule needs to rethink their manners!

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17. Posted by teddywyler on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:19 pm PDT

I disagree with getting rid of the elbows on the table rule. While I don't find it offensive, I do think it sends the message that the person doing it is crass, lazy and/or undereducated. Probably not the message you want sent when you're trying to make a first impression. On the other hand, if you're out with someone who doesn't care, you may as well feel free to floss your teeth at the table with each other's hair.

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18. Posted by maythefrobewithu on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:21 pm PDT

I find it hilariously ironic that many of the people responding to the lack of "Mr. and Mrs." (on the basis of respect) are being completely one-sided, rude, and offensive. I quote, "Are you kidding me?", "I don't care if you think it's old fashioned", and "So what if you feel old." Oh, the hypocrisies of our great species.

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19. Posted by Keith W on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:23 pm PDT

Mr. Mrs. Ms, Sir and Ma'am are one of many good things Southeners do. The South is changing, bad things are now past. Thank God. I once found myself in a strand situation in Denver, after filling up with fuel. The lady in station was obviously gay, short hair, male mannerisms. I don't care if someone is gay, but Ma'am as a habit came rolling out. She proceeded to throw my change at me. I told her I didn't mean anything by it, and if she was a real man I whoop her arse. Of course some was horrified, and others inside thought it was funny. Later I thought how awful it would be to go around life with a chip on your shoulder. So in the end saying Ma'am to Lesbian butches could be a bad thing. ACLU has never contacted me though, YET.

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20. Posted by sameog on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:24 pm PDT

As a well-bred man, I was raised to have impeccable manners. My parents were strict like that. Well-written article.

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21. Posted by Emily on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:33 pm PDT

If you know the adult personally and they're okay with it, call them by their first names. However, ALWAYS, ALWAYS make sure your children call their teachers by Mr/Mrs/Ms Last Name. I sub at a high school and I ALWAYS have to remind the students of that rule. Otherwise, I get called things such as Emily, or hey Mrs. Sub Lady, or hey You Teacher Lady!

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22. Posted by otakpor n on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:37 pm PDT

Heartwarming that there are still concerned citizens out there seeking to revive the fast decaying "old school" manners! It's very offensive in most coloured communities&cultures for adults not to be properly addressed respectfully at least as "Mr; Mrs; Ms; etc".This is worthy of universal application and not a South/North affair.

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23. Posted by otakpor n on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:43 pm PDT

Heartwarming that there are still concerned citizens out there seeking to revive the fast decaying "old school" manners! It's very offensive in most coloured communities&cultures for adults not to be properly addressed respectfully at least as "Mr; Mrs; Ms; etc".This is worthy of universal application and not a South/North affair.

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24. Posted by l_steeleford on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 7:45 pm PDT

I was raised with the "Yes Ma'am" "No Sir" mentality, and I'm originally from Illinois. Guess it just depends on the family on that one. As someone without children, I can't speak from personal experience with raising them, but I think it all depends upon the circumstances. If you're in an authority position then the Mr. Ms. or Mrs. is appropriate all the way. However, if you're in a situation where you're trying to talk to a child and you don't want to intimidate them, a first name basis might be better.

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25. Posted by tweetyfriend15 on Thu, Jun 04, 2009, 8:00 pm PDT

im only 12 and my dad has always been on the yes ma'am and no sir stuff its realy polite and stuff so im on with24 its not always bad its just about tradition and familys and with mine we say stuff like that

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26. Posted by kaptain_karnage4208@ymail.com on Fri, Jun 05, 2009, 12:55 am PDT

What can we say southerners are more mannered than anyone else...Proud of that too!=D

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27. Posted by Molly M on Fri, Jun 05, 2009, 2:17 am PDT

I went to a school where teachers were called by their first names and I was still polite and respectful to them. I agree that it's not necessary to address adults formally, but maybe ask your friends what they want to be called! Opinions on this differ, and I think it's pretty rude to assume your friends don't mind your kids calling them Bob and Mary instead of Mr. and Mrs.

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28. Posted by delanivt on Fri, Jun 05, 2009, 3:57 am PDT

i agree with everyone about the dropping of Mr. or Ms. its rediculous. when i was a kid we called our parent's friends or our friend's parents aunt or uncle and everyone else Mr. or Ms. i think that the self-esteem issue has gotten out of hand. teachers not allowed to use red pen anymore becasue its bad for the kids self-esteem. give me a break.

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29. Posted by delanivt on Fri, Jun 05, 2009, 4:01 am PDT

the only time its ok to call an adult by their first name is when they give you permission. so molly m, if one of your friends dosent mind being called by their first name, then they can tell the kids that, until then give the adults to benefit of the doubt and call them Mr. or Ms.

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30. Posted by Jennifer R on Fri, Jun 05, 2009, 7:19 am PDT

Not only should KIDS not call an adult by their first name, another ADULT should not call someone by their first name unless they are told they may do so. If I call a person that I do not know personally on the phone, I say, "May I speak to Mr./Ms. Whomever?" If they respond (or answer the phone) with "This is John/Jane, what can I do for you?" then I take it as an implied permission to call them by their first name. Business colleagues, it has changed. When you get to executive levels, these days it seems the respectful way to refer to someone, or introduce them, is by their full name, but with no title (unless they are Dr. Someone)... for example, at a meeting, you will hear, "John Smith will be heading up this project, Jane Brown will be in charge of the other one." Only in smaller groups where the participants are already on a familiar, first-name basis will they go with just "John" and "Jane".

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