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The Worst Wedding Traditions

Posted Mon, May 11, 2009, 11:47 am PDT
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When it comes to weddings, who says you have to follow all the rules? Sure, if you want to stick with some classic traditions, go for it. But we believe that less is more, so it's time to reevaluate the old-school ways of saying "I do." The more you simplify, the more you'll be able to focus on the really important stuff for your big day...

Matching Bridesmaids  Chances are the friends, sisters and cousins you've selected to be in your bridal party aren't all of identical make-and-model. One's a tall lanky brunette, another is a short curvy blonde. So outfitting them all in the exact same dress means there's a good chance someone is going to look awkward (at best) and awful (at worst). Instead, try doing different dresses in one color or a colorful array of complementary shades.

Big Bridal Parties  Since there can be lots of posturing and jockeying for these prime positions with the bride and groom, keep the bridal party small to avoid potential quibbles (and even all-out wars!). Plus, with a more intimate group you'll save money on gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Long Vows  Be kind to your guests by keeping your vows on the shorter side. This is especially important if your ceremony is under the blazing sun without umbrellas or fans. Say what you want to say, but don't bore your guests!

Throwing Rice  Does a blushing bride really want to be doused by a storm of hard little pellets that end up getting stuck in her hair, veil, gown, and worse, inside her shoes? Not the most comfortable situation when she's whooping it up to "Brick House" on the dance floor.

Assigned Seating  Guests get miserable if they're stuck at a table away from the people they really want to hang with. Cocktail-style settings with open seating and lots of grazing are more inviting and lively. And you'll save money and migraines by ditching elaborate seating charts and place cards. 

Expensive Wedding Favors  Weddings aren't about giving showy gifts; they're about celebrating your love with your loved ones. None of your guests expect pricey parting gifts. If you want to show your appreciation, leave a short, sincere note on each place setting thanking them for being there. Or let them know that a donation to a meaningful charity has been made in their name.

Throwing the Bouquet  Nothing in life -- not the SAT's, not parallel parking during our drivers' test, not meeting our boyfriend's parents for the first time -- can compare to the pressure of being a single gal expected to push, pull, and pummel to catch that doggone bridal bouquet. Enough already.

Removing the Garter  Kind of cheesy, right? Kind of grope-y? Kind of I-don't-want-to-have-to-holler-like-a-frat-boy-as-he-runs-his-hands-up-her-thigh?

Drunken Toasts  Oh, the joy, the tenderness, the humiliation of an old-fashioned toast given by someone who has had a few too many sips of bubbly. Talk to your talkers ahead of time and let them know you'd like them to keep it sweet...and sober.

Leaving For the Honeymoon the Morning After  After all the planning and partying, it's nice to take a pause before heading off to paradise. There's so much to think about when leaving town. Give yourselves a day or two or even longer to get organized. You need an extra breath before jetting off and finally melting into relaxation mode. 

And check out The Big Wedding Money-Wasters.

For more ideas on how to live affordably and stylishly, check out Foxy&Co and our new book, Curves Rules And Flat Is Fabulous: Sexy Stylish Looks For Every Figure.

Average (560 Ratings): 2.5 out of 5 stars

  • 1. Posted by Tim and Brenda on Tue, May 12, 2009, 6:35 am PDT

    Wait a few days before leaving for your honeymoon? Cut the cake and run for it! Get away from that $$$ hulla-bal-loo ASAP... while you've still got the vows impressed on your yeart, and get into each other. Self-imposed seclusing really helps solidify your bond. Also, a great honeymoon is a simple place you can return to whenever you want, its not an exotic trip that took as much planning as your wedding. (T and B ~ 19 yrs and holding)

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  • 2. Posted by dmkelly1 on Wed, May 13, 2009, 2:24 pm PDT

    I can't say I agree with Tim and Brenda. I took my honeymoon six months after my wedding. I'm glad I had the days after my wedding to open gifts, sort out legalities, and get my life organized. It would have ruined my honeymoon for me knowing that I had 150 thank-yous to write when I got home. Planning my wedding was exciting for me and having something to look forward to afterward kept me from feeling let down that it was all over. I don't know if I totally agree with my mom, but she always said marraiges should start realistically: going to work, cooking dinner, doing laundry, paying the bills, etc. Marriages aren't about lounging on the beach for a week - they're about the daily mundane tasks that make your home and lives together function. Heading out on a vacation immediately after your wedding, in her words, "sets you up for disappointment." Honeymoons should come later when you need a break from the dialy grind.

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  • 3. Posted by sloanne2001 on Thu, May 14, 2009, 1:30 pm PDT

    I agree with all of these!! If you've been to one wedding, you've been to them all. Same sh*t different people. Favors for guests are crap no one wants. Matching bridesmaids look ridiculous in those stupid dresses. Though, drunken toasts can be pretty funny.

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  • 4. Posted by Divachick on Fri, May 15, 2009, 7:40 am PDT

    People the important thing is plan ahead for the life toghether your about to begin. Weddings last a day, Marriages last a lifetime.

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  • 5. Posted by Jake on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:33 pm PDT

    Ditch the wedding all together!

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  • 6. Posted by rxero100 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:34 pm PDT

    Let people decide for themselves. I think the majority of these are great traditions. Who really cares if the speeches are made by someone sober or not? Are you referring to a Mormon wedding? Rules rules rules. Why?

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  • 7. Posted by KitKat on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:37 pm PDT

    Who still throws rice? I've been to weddings where they have thrown rose pedals or blew bubbles.

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  • 8. Posted by jubean_14 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:37 pm PDT

    horrible...... traditions are fun. Its what some look forward to. Are these people even married? Get a life!

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  • 9. Posted by jilebapts on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:38 pm PDT

    i don't think the person that wrote this has even ever been to a wedding...

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  • 10. Posted by Dawn Jones on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:39 pm PDT

    I think that assigned seating is good to be sure that the right people end up together. I just don't agree with this article at all. If you know the guests enough to invite them to the wedding you should know them enough to know where to seat them. And I love the bouquet toss. Its a lot of fun. Who ever wrote this article is too cool for tradition I guess.

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  • 11. Posted by kirkthomson on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:40 pm PDT

    I think you should wait a few days and spend time with the people that made it all possible or friends that came in from out of town and may still be around. imagine a guest flying in that hasn't seen you in a while and you rush out of town.

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  • 12. Posted by crackfashions on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:40 pm PDT

    This lady is SINGLE!

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  • 13. Posted by toky2006 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:40 pm PDT

    I agree wait a couple of months before honeymooning.

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  • 14. Posted by joshd_85 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:41 pm PDT

    Drunken toats are a staple of wedding and everyone loves them. It would be a sad day for weddings if they were eliminated. And for the bride/groom to expect toasters to be sober is expecting way too much. Come on, its a wedding after all!

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  • 15. Posted by navchiro@sbcglobal.net on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:42 pm PDT

    What a waste of an article. Are you two women so bored, that you have to write about something so lame. Obviously, you both must of had terrible marriages and/or you are both gay. Get a life!!

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  • 16. Posted by ScreaMer on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:43 pm PDT

    i think some traditions are fun and people look forwards to them the garder the toasts the bouque all important! but sure ditch the seating charts and gifts yer paying enough to feed them!

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  • 17. Posted by dlsartdept on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:44 pm PDT

    Damn lady you're making this wedding no fun. yeah weddings are about showing our love and sharing your happiness with everyone but its also a very happy and exciting day. Have all the fun you can. Make new memories. So what if you wnat to throw the bouquet..have fun

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  • 18. Posted by anok2x2 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:45 pm PDT

    Enough With Th PC Bull! The Wedding Is About Starting A Marriage. Not the Comfort Of Guests. Not About The Who Sits Where. Not Enough Traditions Our Honnored In This Country Any More! Thats Why Some Many Couples End Up Splitting Up. No Commitment, No Loyalty. Just Live In The Now And Forget Any One But Yourself. It's Time To Return To The Traditons Of the Past Before There Is No Tomarrow! And Yeah I Know My Typing Is Bad But I Spend More Time With My Wife And Kids Then Typing!

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  • 19. Posted by youdontknowme on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:46 pm PDT

    How many other "Traditions" do people still do that have been done for decades and or centuries? Do you want to step all over those as well? Who gave these women this column? Their last one about etiquette or politeness or something was just as awful. They get famous by bashing things like this and everyday things that people do. In their other article that I read they were bashing people for using cell-phones and spitting. Things that are annoying sure, but are people going to stop? Hell no! A lot of those were just as bad as these, but these are traditions! Not acts of stupidity or just downright rudeness. I still say they are lesbians, and that's why they're bashing these traditions. They'll never have them..

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  • 20. Posted by Beautiful Bird on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:47 pm PDT

    i have to agree on matching bridesmaids and large bridal parties. Large bridal parties = more expenses. As far as toasts, bouquet throwing and garter toss....those are such great traditions.... but it's all to the couple! whatever couple wants!

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  • 21. Posted by jeff19r_littlebuoy_jeeeeeeff19 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:47 pm PDT

    I've never heard anyone complaing about these traditions. Personally, I love them and find them to be an important part of weddings. The author gives no explanation of why these tradtions should be changed. I don't agree and I can't think of many people who would.

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  • 22. Posted by cowboytwolane on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:48 pm PDT

    My wife and I -- blended family, married more than a dozen years ago -- spent VERY LITTLE on a wedding and dessert reception in a local rented school gym. We had one attendant each. The clothing consisted of nice "fancy dinner" style dresses and basic yet nice quality suits. We were in a small town where "everyone knew everyone else," so we had literally about 300 people in attendance in a church-oriented setting. The superabundance of family and friends was INFINITELY better than any "wedding to die for" imaginable. No overly ritzy anything, no ridiculous "everybody-does-'em" stupid customs, etc. No alcohol even! NO ONE who was there, least of all the two of us, would have done any of it any differently. Love the idea of a six-months-later honeymoon instead of immediately after, or to someplace"simple" or, dare I add, "down to earth," if that's what you want. Great ideas from all four of the previous commentators! especially Divachick, "Weddings last a day, Marriages last a lifetime."

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  • 23. Posted by jodismith29 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:48 pm PDT

    I know assigned seating is a headache, but if you aren't going to do it, make sure people fill in the tables. I just went to a wedding with my husband, 2 children and mom and her boyfriend. By the time we got the the reception (i was a bridesmaid, daughter was flowergirl), there was not enough room left at any table for all of us to sit at! So make sure you have someone helping out with seating if you are not going to assign seats.

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  • 24. Posted by Nicole A on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:49 pm PDT

    now i can stop thinking "i should have....". I can honestly say i did none of those things at our 'traditional' wedding. It was a short ceremony at a beautiful botanical garden. I had my two bridesmaids pick out their own black cocktail length dresses, and we didnt even really think to do the bouquet/garder toss because we had a small reception in a private room at one of the nicer restaurants in town. I planned my wedding in 4 weeks and couldn't be happier with the way it all turned out.

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  • 25. Posted by sapphire_rose23 on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:51 pm PDT

    For the most part I liked the article, if for nothing else to say that weddings do not have to be traditional. Ours wasn't and it was fun and not overly stressful. We had a cookout afterwards and just enjoyed being with the friends and family that attended. On the other hand...if you like tradition, go for that too. After all it is your wedding...make it what you want it to be.

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  • 26. Posted by cmkingrules on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:52 pm PDT

    I disagree about the favor, it is a parting gift and simple token of appreciation from bride & groom to the guest. If the bride & groom want to make a gesture towards a charity they should indicate that THEY, the couple, do not want wedding gifts and that a donation should be made instead ... which I have never seen happen. Yes, often times the favor is crummy, but I think it is in poor taste for a bride & groom to say "We are going to take what has traditionally been your gift (our guest) and give it away instead."

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  • 27. Posted by Matt D on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:52 pm PDT

    you sound a little bitter... are you married?

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  • 28. Posted by silverliningsphotography on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:52 pm PDT

    I'm a wedding photographer and I've never seen anyone throw rice before (or anything else really either come to think of it, except the bouquet). And it's really not that hard to remove your shoe and dump it out anyway, you know? Sometimes assigned seating is good for people to not have to worry about where they're sitting. What if you're a couple and you are the last one there and have trouble finding a table with two seats? Just saying... It's the bride and groom's wedding. To each their own!

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  • 29. Posted by Christopher T on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:53 pm PDT

    Last summer, I served as a groomsman at my brother's wedding. As far as I recall, there was no bouquet-tossing or garter-removing...and I'm glad there wasn't, for I don't see the point of either. To me, for example, bouquet-tossing is kind of condescending for the single women...and how will a single woman feel if she happens to have been to three weddings and has caught the bouquet three times in a row, but has never found a guy to get married to, while the other women in the crowd who DIDN'T catch the bouquet get married before she does? What's fair about that?

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  • 30. Posted by katieecrenshaw on Fri, May 15, 2009, 12:53 pm PDT

    I donno about the seating.. at my moms wedding she had the 4 closest tables (closest to the bridal party) assigned for certain people like like the mother of the groom his sister, brother and father.. and her close family... worked out better... but the rice thing is definate.. no one wants to pick rice out of a $75-$100 hair do

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