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How to Break Your Addiction to Drama

Posted Fri, Apr 17, 2009, 4:04 pm PDT
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Whether it be bromance, wo-mance, or other best-friendship, you will face challeges as complicated as any romantic relationship. Staying fun and worry-free actually requires advanced social skills. Get it wrong and you could find yourself home alone on weekends, sharing the sofa with a tub of Cherry Garcia and a tube of raw cookie dough. Here, a few Foxy tips on how to avoid making frienemies with your nearest and dearests. 

  • Friendly Feuds  Fight with a good friend can feel awful, especially if it's the first fight. In order to get your friendship back on track fast, and without any permanent scars, talk it out sooner rather than later. Don't let anger, sadness, and misunderstanding stew -- that can make matters worse. If you said something you regret, it's not the end of everything. In fact, working through hard times makes you closer. Having a sense of humor about it can help. Just call your friend and make a joke about it to break the ice.
  • Drama Dudes & Debbie Downers  Friends should always stand by friends in need, but some problematic pals always seem be in crisis mode -- relationship troubles, money troubles, job troubles, can't-shake-this-cold troubles. If you've got one of those in your life, call them on it! There's nothing wrong with pointing out that they have more than their share of drama... then, try to shift their focus to more positive pieces of their life. If they're a true friend, they'll appreciate your honesty and realize they can benefit from having someone to lift their spirits. What if you run into the oh-so-common case of a depressed friend won't stop sulking (and chatting) about their ex? Set up "no" zones -- like "no talking about Todd on Mondays, Wednesdays or Fridays!" A sense of humor, along with a firm (and friendly) hand, goes a long way.
  • Friends With Flash & Cash  It's OK that you pull up to the valet in your 1995 Toyota while your friend pulls up in her 2007 Jag. It's fine that you buy your holiday gifts on sale while she buys hers at Barneys. However, it's not OK when friends flaunt their wealth. You could send signals to try to get them to tone it down a bit by saying something like, "Things are a little challenging right now," and hope he/she gets it. Or you might try saying something directly about how the situation makes you feel. And, remember if it's you that's scored a sweet cash jackpot, remain humble -- keeping money matters on a lower profile is the honorable way to go.
  • Childish Behavior  You've reached a new stage in your life when your friends start having kids. And with that comes a whole new set of issues... like what to do when someone's rowdy child starts pouring juice on the carpet, pulling your dog's tail, or destroying your rose garden without getting reprimanded. In these frustrating situations, pull your friend to the side and kindly point out what their kids are doing, then ask them to help. Sometimes parents are not aware of the behavior -- we call it "Parent Brain" due to utter exhaustion! If the problems are ongoing, try to set up a child-safe play zone in your house when the crew is coming over.
  • The Break-Up  Sometimes friends go in different directions, and it can be tricky breaking things off with a close bud. While it may seem easier to stop returning their calls and emails to give them a hardcore hint, we recommend doing it right. Write them a letter with a polite and sincere explanation. Better yet, ask them to coffee and have an honest, in-person conversation. If you're searching for an explanation as to why you want to cool things off, try: "Life is too complicated right now, so I'm just taking a breather" or "I need a bit of alone time to work some things out..."
And check out The Worst (and Most Common) Etiquette Mistakes.

For more tips on living a fabulous and flawless life, check out our website, Foxy & Co, and our new book, Curves Rule And Flat Is Fabulous: Sexy, Stylish Looks For Every Figure.

Average (10 Ratings): 4 out of 5 stars

6 Comments

  • 1. Posted by akavinson@sbcglobal.net on Wed, Apr 22, 2009, 8:53 pm PDT

    Very nice ideas, I will try to use them. Thank you.

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  • 2. Posted by Christina on Sun, May 03, 2009, 5:32 am PDT

    I definitely can use this advice!! Drama is everywhere in my life. It is like I am a drama magnet!! lol And although it makes for great entertainment, at least the tv can be turned off!

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  • 3. Posted by Alison Jane on Sun, May 03, 2009, 7:44 am PDT

    what the hell. take a friend out to coffee to say you "need a breather" so you can politely break off a friendship? no, just be straight up. when they wanna hang out, tell them you dont wanna. be nice, cause its gonna hurt their feelings but you gotta be honest with people.

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  • 4. Posted by VALERY on Sun, May 03, 2009, 8:06 am PDT

    Great Tips

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  • 5. Posted by NONE on Sun, May 03, 2009, 9:34 pm PDT

    I have a "friend" who has been giving me the silent treatment for months over something silly. I live overseas this year, so do not need the extra stress. I have decided to cut her off, because it is more trouble than it's worth. Sometimes you just have to say no to self-righteous drama queens.

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  • 6. Posted by jamieswaimy on Thu, May 07, 2009, 6:48 pm PDT

    My problem is with me being single and my friends being married and having kids. They act like I'm the one neglecting the friendship yet they are not available to socialize. It become a point of contention for them when it was glaringly obvious to me our lives had just diverged and it's time to move on.

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