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While it may be hard to resist the water cooler chat, juicy gossip with co-workers, and escaping for leisurely two-hour lunches when the boss isn't around, the office can easily morph from a work place into a whack place. With layoffs-a-plenty these days, the last thing you want to do is annoy others or attract negative attention from the higher-ups. So here's a brief refresher course on what not to do at the office. Be on your best behavior and flaunt those good manners as you grind away!
- Greasing The Grapevine What's an office without a healthy dose of good, old-fashioned gossip? It doesn't matter if it's playful or biting, spoken or emailed -- gossip is dangerous. Avoid starting or spreading rumors -- or you may find yourself with a reputation as someone who can't be trusted.
- Passing The Buck The blame game is lame. Pointing your finger at co-workers when things go wrong usually comes off as juvenile and traitorous. And that goes double when the error is actually your fault! Try to focus on how to resolve the problem and move on rather than on assigning blame.
- Bad Credit While we're all for ambition, taking credit for good things you didn't do or taking all the credit for group projects are two sure ways to make fast enemies. Work your way up -- don't claw.
- Cruising The Social Circuit Dating co-workers is tricky business that can lead to any number of unfortunate consequences -- from loud emotional workplace episodes to losing the respect of your co-workers. Even heavy flirting can make you seem less committed or serious about your job, so think carefully before you bat your eyes at the cutie from accounting.
- Brown-Nosing The Big Boss Ah, the art of sucking up -- if done well, and subtly, it can help you cruise up the corporate ladder. But if done too blatantly, it backfires. Not only can your boss lose respect for you as an independent thinker who wants to rise on merit, but your co-workers may resent you.
- Mistreating Office-Mates You can tell a lot about a person by how well, or how poorly, he or she treats colleagues who are lower-level than they are. Treat everyone with respect and patience, even if you're just asking them to photocopy and collate the hundredth memo of the day. Remember what your mama told you, say "please" and "thank you" (mama knew her stuff).
- Lazy Lunchers Perhaps the most ill-treated of all office areas is the lunchroom. Between pesky noshers who steal other people's food from the fridge to those who stink it up with week-old Caesars, it's a hotbed of annoying habits. Among other messy no-no's -- leaving a mess in the microwave while heating up your chili con carne until it explodes... not refilling the empty paper towel roll... and leaving your dirty coffee cup in the sink for someone else to clean up.
- Abusing The System You're busting your butt every day for The Man, so now and then it might be tempting to get a little revenge. Still, resist the urge to steal office swag (pens, paperclips, etc.), spend excess computer time doing personal stuff (Ebay, anyone?), take a fifteen-minute "bathroom" break every hour, or otherwise abuse the system. Pens cost a few bucks a pack at your local Staples -- it's not worth your job, so just say no.
- Wrong Timing Some people literally punch in and out at work -- but for those lucky devils who don't, bad habits such as regularly arriving late, leaving early, or stretching your lunch hour into two, can make you seem lazy, careless, or disinterested in your work. Every now and then, a few minutes here or there won't be noticed -- but make it a daily occurence and you could get the boot.
- Dressing Down Don't take the idea of "Casual Fridays" too far -- like to Monday. The minute you start showing up in ratty old sneakers, stretched and faded tees, ripped jeans, or a mini-skirt and tank-top, you'll likely lose clout with colleagues and superiors.
- Making a Mess Whether you're lucky enough to have a swank office complete with a door (woo hoo!) and personalized nameplate (yippee!) -- or are confined to a spacious nine-by-nine-foot cubicle (drat), leaving your work space littered with half-eaten food, cookie crumbs, open candy wrappers, old coffee cups, and stacks of papers doesn't really advertise you as "management material."
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