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6 Ways to Pretend You Cooked...Even When You Didn't

Posted Sun, Aug 12, 2007, 7:33 pm PDT
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Whipping up a homemade gourmet spread for six or more can be a little daunting, especially when pressed for time (and who isn't these days?). Sure, Martha makes it look so simple, but she is Martha, after all. But, even for mere mortals, the array of prepared foods found in the supermarkets these days makes it a breeze to dress up a dish and make it look like your very own. With a few fun and creative tricks no one will ever know!

Do the Taste Test... Before you order a pound of something at your local gourmet shop, taste it first! Make sure it's what you had in mind and, most importantly, make sure it's super tasty. 

Don't Go Topless... It's amazing what a little topping and a few garnishes can do to dress up a deli chicken or takeout soup from your favorite bistro. Grated Parmesan, crumbled Bleu, croutons, fresh herbs, toasted pine nuts, dried cranberries, chopped scallions, you name it -- stock your kitchen with all kinds of garnishing goodies. Colorful toppings punch up any dish and make everything look that much more homemade. One of our faves is parsley, which sometimes gets a bad rap, but we love its versatility. Let's say you're decorating a platter of storebought sliced beef or grilled salmon. Just grab a bunch of fresh sprigs and place them all around the rim of your dish, almost like a wreath. Then stick a few right in the center. Somehow the parsley instantly makes the food look like you were slaving away for hours. Add some sliced lemon (for fish) or a small bowl filled with mustard or horseradish (for beef) -- and voila!

Do It Halfway... Don't be afraid to go homemade where it counts and skimp where it doesn't. For example, whip real cream (it looks much classier than the stuff out of a can, tastes better than the fake stuff, and only takes a couple of minutes) and add fresh berries to jazz up store-bought pound cake. Or buy shredded coleslaw mix and add a sliced green onion and jarred buttermilk ranch dressing for "homemade" coleslaw that tastes worlds better than the deli counter version.

Fake It Till You Bake It... Fill your home with the scent of freshly baked goods -- only you have to know that all you did was bake them! From bread to pizza crust to chocolate chip cookies, save tons of time by buying the dough and just popping it in the oven.

Head for Home Plate... Obviously, you want to avoid placing food on the table in the plastic or paper cartons it was purchased in -- a big fat give-away!  Break out your nicest serving platters, dishes, and bowls and present everything in a first-class way -- as if you had spent hours and hours slicing and sautéing.

Divide and Conquer... Instead of serving everything in "bulk" so guests have to serve themselves, divide store-bought food into single-serving bowls or glasses. Offer diced veggie salad in martini glasses as a first course...a shot glass of carrot/ginger soup garnished with a breadstick as a second course...individual pastries topped with whipped cream and cinnamon to finish things off after your main course. And just like that, turn your easy-as-pie grocery goodies into a four-course gourmet feast!

 

Average (62 Ratings): 3.5 out of 5 stars

27 Comments

  • 1. Posted by jgpeake on Thu, Aug 30, 2007, 12:42 pm PDT

    The ideas suggested are great - just what I would do. Thanks and I forward to getting more great tips!!

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  • 2. Posted by B R I on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:23 am PDT

    Niccceeee. Thanks for the tip!!!

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  • 3. Posted by Karol L on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:32 am PDT

    Sounds like a good time and you dont have that much to do THANKS

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  • 4. Posted by Lisa on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:35 am PDT

    Lovely. Deception at the dinner table. If you're too lazy to cook, why not be upfront about it? I make almost everything I cook from scratch. I know people don't have time or don't want to put out that much effort. but be honest about it.

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  • 5. Posted by dolu99 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:37 am PDT

    really it finishd the hrs job in few sec thts amazin

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  • 6. Posted by geraldineciulla on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:38 am PDT

    Wonderful ideas. great for those of us with little imagination when it comes to entertaining.

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  • 7. Posted by sciencetogo on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:40 am PDT

    The main problem with "store food" is the amount of sodium and preservatives in them. I prefer to cook my own and then I know what I'm giving my guests.

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  • 8. Posted by getaclue on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:41 am PDT

    Are you kidding me? Did they get paid to write this article? If so, I really want to be a writer because it seems you can just say anything and get paid for it. Come on people. Who really cares if you cooked the meal or not? If you can't cook, so what? If you are around people that care that much, tell them to get of their lazy asses and cook it themselves.

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  • 9. Posted by geraldineciulla on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:42 am PDT

    Wonderful ideas. great for those of us with little imagination when it comes to entertaining.

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  • 10. Posted by SixPack on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:45 am PDT

    So you are teaching women how to lie. Nice.

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  • 11. Posted by videobam on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:46 am PDT

    Depending on where you live, grocery stores like Whole Foods and Trader Joes offer healthy prepared foods. Go Flixya.com!

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  • 12. Posted by Bill D on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:52 am PDT

    Its know wonder the kids are fat today. All the fast food crap that's in the stores, and lazy mothers who wiil not cook. Go ahead and eat the prepared junk, you deserve it.

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  • 13. Posted by chrispl78 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 10:57 am PDT

    Right on Lisa! But then, how many American women know how to cook?

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  • 14. Posted by SixPack on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:00 am PDT

    Well said Bill D.

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  • 15. Posted by ciaobella1017 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:01 am PDT

    What the heck? Is so much MORE work to lie about making food that you bought, than to just be upfront about the fact that you can't cook or just didn't have the time. I mean, why not just be truthful and say, "Lord, thank you for the blessings on our table. Thank you for the people gathered here today. Bless this food to our bodies...and bless the deli guy at Safeway, who made this all possible. Amen." Honestly, why fib about something that's so unimportant?

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  • 16. Posted by dasy1725 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:06 am PDT

    wow, its good for your guest to know who perpare there food

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  • 17. Posted by Mary D on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:09 am PDT

    if i dont cook it, my guests know...why lie about it? these are people that i love...usually and they already know my capabilities. it is still nice to present it well, though.

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  • 18. Posted by k l on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:48 am PDT

    Why are some people getting so angry at this woman for a little deception? Who thinks it's such a big deal whether an "American woman" cooks for her guests or not. Is there some unwritten rule that says it's morally wrong if a woman doesn't slave in a kitchen for hours; does that somehow make her less feminine? get a grip people! Some people have some serious mother-issues here...

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  • 19. Posted by Solar P on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:53 am PDT

    Obscene, insulting and sad!! You can't or don't want to cook. That's not a big deal. Hey, I understand about not wanting to spend hours cooking up one meal. I love good food whether my host made it herself or not. Have the respect for yourself and your guests to simply state the fact that you prefer the main course you picked up from Whole Foods [or wherever] and the pastry from ...the patisserie to your own cooking/baking. There's enough dishonesty in the world already. And what will you do when you finally DO decide to spend hours making a delicious dish from scratch? No one will believe you if you've lied about this in the past. Friends and even merest acquaintances will respect you more if you're honest.

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  • 20. Posted by Yvette I on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 11:59 am PDT

    It's not a matter of truth or lie...it's about saving time, relaxing and making your guests and the ocassion feel special. If that means leaving the heavy lifting to your favorite deli so you're freed up to spend more time on "presentation", I'm all for it. Whether you tell everyone that it all came from Safeway or not, is up to you. But whatever you do, take the time to at least dump the food into some nice platters and make everything look as enticing as you can. Thanks for the tips!

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  • 21. Posted by karatedean7 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 12:45 pm PDT

    thanks

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  • 22. Posted by baxmullet on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 1:05 pm PDT

    But how do you pretend to cook when you actually cooked?

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  • 23. Posted by tessielinn on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 1:26 pm PDT

    Sixpack, what makes you think they are just talking to women? Do men not entertain in your sexist world?

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  • 24. Posted by flub on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 1:32 pm PDT

    yahoo always has the saddest advice available to humanity.

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  • 25. Posted by dblhrt_2 on Sat, Sep 15, 2007, 2:03 pm PDT

    Agree w/ Yvette. Your priority is to gather special friends not to impress them with gourmet skills. Beautiful serving dishes and elegant "touches" to purchased entrees adds beauty to expedience when time doesn't allow. Sometimes pizza, etc. is O.K. Sometimes, it's about aesthetics. There are those who couldn't care less that you bothered w'candlelight and cloth napkins, then there are those who will notice your thoughtful last-minut "touches.

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  • 26. Posted by Anna I on Sat, Jan 19, 2008, 2:51 pm PST

    I agree with all the people above think it's stupid to lie that you cooked it all. And what do you do if someone asks for a recipe?

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  • 27. Posted by nepinza on Tue, Feb 19, 2008, 4:17 pm PST

    We are living in an age where it is easier to go pick up something to eat rather than fix something to eat at home. And to think that there are 30 minute meals shows galore that encourage us to cook at home....but at the end no matter how hard they try to encourage others to eat at home the art is lost and weather it takes a few minutes or a day in the kitcken....at the end people would rather go out to eat.

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