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The 6 Most Common Ways to Ruin a Burger

Posted Mon, Aug 31, 2009, 1:01 pm PDT

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For the lead-up to Labor Day, we talked to expert burger men George Motz, author of A Hamburger America, and Adam Kuban of A Hamburger Today. Here's what they had to say about how civilians tend to ruin a perfectly good American dish...

1. Not Sticking to Salt Plus Beef: Use Kosher salt (and pepper!) on both sides of the beef patty before slapping it onto the grill. Salt is a glorious thing for red meat-it draws out the natural juices and helps with the charring. Try to avoid turkey, bison or other alternative meat options, which have a much higher risk of moisture and flavor deficiency. Don't get crazy here, just stick with beef. Motz even says, "if it's not beef, it's not a burger." Here is Bobby Flay's recipe for the perfect beef burger.

2. Bad Beef-to-Bun Balance: There's no hard-and-fast ratio for beef-to-bun balance. It's like Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in
Jacobellis v. Ohio (1964) "I know it when I see it." In the case of beef-to-bun balance, taste it. Beef-to-bun balance all depends on your patty size. If you're cooking up a thin patty, don't use a jumbo bun-you don't want a mouthful of bread and hardly any meat, do you? When in doubt, make your patties bigger or stack a double burger. It's bettern to err on the side of more meat.

3. Condiment Overload: Building a burger with "everything" is a huge mistake. Avoid the garbage pail approach. In most cases, going beyond onion and ketchup (arguably the most popular condiment) masks the beef taste and creates an absurd flavor profile. Seriously, a pastrami burger? Pastrami is not a condiment. However, we will make one exception for Fatty Melts-when grilled cheeses become condiments.

4. Wasting Precious Burger Juices: If you're cooking the burgers over a flame, pressing down on them will send the precious meat juices straight into the coals. Those juices are valuable-they belong in your mouth. While it's very tempting to apply pressure with a spatula, don't. Unless you want a dry hockey puck. Sometimes they do it on TV, but just close your eyes.

5. Overcooking: This should be a crime recognized by the federal government. For the popular medium-rare, grill the meat exactly three minutes on one side (keeping the grill lid closed) and two minutes on the other. If you're going to add cheese, let it melt on top for another minute (and keep that cover closed!). We like our burgers medium rare, so much we've even sent them back at restaurants when they go beyond medium.

6. Machine-Formed Patties: If you really want to ruin your burger, try a machine-formed frozen patty! No, don't. While making every ingredient from scratch is not necessary (see: Heston Blumenthal's Blumenburger) try to form your own patties from ground chuck (80 percent lean is good) purchased at your nearest market or better yet, butcher.

Check out Vogue's 8 Secrets to Hamburger Perfection.

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330 Comments

1. Posted by hoss75092 on Wed, Sep 02, 2009, 6:41 pm PDT

I'm still a little old fasion. I like my burger patties hand made & about 1/3 lb. This makes a great burger. Wonderful taste. You can put the condments on and still able to bite it. I do like lemon pepper. It brngs out the flavor. Don't give me that catsup or mayo,that stuff is for sandwitches not burgers. Your in TEXAS it's MUSTARD brother dill pickle or sour. Not sweet that kills it.
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2. Posted by professorsvh on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:05 pm PDT

Bad beef to bun balance = In N Out. No meat....medium size bun....all lettuce.
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3. Posted by Slim on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:10 pm PDT

I WOULD NEVER EAT ONE YOUR HAMBURGERS...SOUNDS BORING!! THE MORE CONDIMENTS THE BETTER!! U MIGHT AS WELL MAKE MEATLOAF IF YOU DONT LIKE THE EXTRAS!!!
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4. Posted by Melody M on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:11 pm PDT

Burgers should be cooked well done to avoid food poisoning.
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5. Posted by joshdelay123 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:11 pm PDT

PSH, THIS IS LAME
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6. Posted by taco mac on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:11 pm PDT

The best secret I have heard ( and it works) is to handle the meat as little as possible - the more you press the patties as you form them , the tougher it becomes- don't turn them too many times - don't press down on the burgers with the spatula.
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7. Posted by mookietude on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:12 pm PDT

I like hamburgers, they make me so CHUBBY!
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8. Posted by jewels12708 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:12 pm PDT

Hamburger cooked well done with bbq sauce, cheddar, lettuce, tomato and pickles on a soft freshly baked roll. I'm in heaven :)
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9. Posted by cartmankenny36 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:13 pm PDT

I don't put anything on my burger except cheese. Anything else ruins it, in my opinion. Also, I love my burger slightly burnt, nice and crunchy.
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10. Posted by low_down@rocketmail.com on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:13 pm PDT

freakin snobs. god i hate yahoo and their stupid articles.
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11. Posted by jamesstockbridge@sbcglobal.net on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:15 pm PDT

I'm guessing this isn't a discussion about health food...lol
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12. Posted by jacob_keim on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:20 pm PDT

YOUR BUGERS ARE VERY GOOD
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13. Posted by Soy_el_Guapo on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:20 pm PDT

To each his own, right? The best burgers I have tasted were in Mexico. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Did you just say Mexico?! BLASPHEMY!!!. Honestly, Mexicans have a good idea of proportionality of meat-to-vegetable ratio. They pile on vegetables and it really tastes better. If you want to slap a pound of hamburger on a skinny bun, just eat a salsbury steak or a regular steak. Burgers are meant to have condiments and don't necessarily have to have a lot of meat.
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14. Posted by nwziv on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:23 pm PDT

Ditto paine_jeff101. Have it your way!
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15. Posted by jomom75 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:26 pm PDT

Who is this guy? Clueless for sure. #4 and #5 are the only ones that he knows what he's talking about. My husband and I are HUGE burger maniacs. We make them all the time at home, both from pre-made patties and from our own. And we try burgers at every restaurant we have a chance to. The only things that truly make a bad burger is bad beef(sorry, but I have never found anything but buffalo meat that could even come close to the fantastic flavor of Alberta Beef), and burgers that are too greasy. Some of the best burgers I've had are the ones fully loaded with condiments....of course not if you have some thin wimpy patty. But with a real thick and juicy patty, an nice kaiser roll and loaded with the works....the BEST!
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16. Posted by brittanygraue@att.net on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:27 pm PDT

1/3 pound handmade patti (medium rare) with salt & pepper, bun, mayo, mustard, cheese, onion, lettuce, dill pickles & sometimes bacon & jalapenos. Thats the perfect burger. YUM! We are gonna have hamburgers tonight :)
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17. Posted by Tim on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:27 pm PDT

A good burger needs no condiments. Having said that, my favorite burger adds a nice slice of a fresh tomato with a squirt of mustard.
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18. Posted by ashhunter18 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:28 pm PDT

But you don't understand...I can make the most tasty garbage "burgers"...
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19. Posted by Budster on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:28 pm PDT

I agree with #'s 2, 4 and 5... #1 There are some palates that do not like salt, or diets that cannot take salt. I personally have a seasoning mixture that I believe enhances the flavor of the beef if cooked correctly. #3 This is personal choice...not science. A persons palate determines what tastes good to individuals, and indicating that ANYTHING other than your sensibilities about a burger being dressed is arrogant. I personally like it simple, but others out there prefer the "salad" approach. Get humble man, and concentrate on yourself. #6 I, as a rule, stay away from machine formed patties. But I have, for expendiences' sake, used them. Using good cooking technique and quality dressings, I have produced very good burgers with them. A blanket statement like that would lump those folks who use burger presses at home, using good quality meat, as "machine formed". This article is very personal to the author, certainly not legitimate "facts" about burgers. Make them the way YOU like them.
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20. Posted by dresgrill on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:35 pm PDT

try adding some mccormick Montreal steak seasoning on the burger. it has onion and garlic and celery salt, course ground black pepper and several other herbs and spices. If its good enough for a 18 dollar ribeye steak its good enough for a burger. as far as add on lettuce, onion, dill pickle, mayo, mustard. CHEESE==UM WELL cheddar, american, pepper jack, or if you want to impress fiscalini. enjoy
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21. Posted by Keith on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:39 pm PDT

Sounds great, but I'm trying to live a little longer. I enjoy lean (96/4) burger... salt free please :-) All of the other tips are good though.
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22. Posted by Dick H on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:42 pm PDT

Why would you want a medium-rare burger? I could understand if you wanted a steak that way, but a burger? All the E. coli is mixed inside ground beef, so it HAS to be cooked all the way!
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23. Posted by pioneer on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:52 pm PDT

I prefer my beef well done. Cook it till it's crispy, load it up with mustard, dress it up with lettuce, onion, tomato, cheese, and whatever else, chose a large bun, then throw it away and cook a hotdog....
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24. Posted by yp_brian_brockton on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:53 pm PDT

make mine mooo anything beyond 120 degrees and you are over cooked as far as the fixins lettuce tomato and a little onion savor the flavor
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25. Posted by mickey s on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:55 pm PDT

i love burgers
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26. Posted by chambma517 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:55 pm PDT

Seems a bit irresponsible to recommend anyone eat medium-rare burgers. Especially from restaurants.
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27. Posted by paine_jeff101 on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:09 pm PDT

Or ignore another person's stupidity and make the burger however you like it to taste.
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28. Posted by this_is_for_work on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:33 pm PDT

Okay, so maybe I'm odd, but this is an awful article. No offense, but none of this takes into concideration any health factors! Use real beef instead of turkey? Sorry, I like turkey meat and it's better for you. And not adding salt to your burger is a bad thing? I don't want my arteries closing up at twentyfive, so I don't put salt on anything. Yeah I eat it when it's in stuff, but I don't add it. I mean, I'm not a health freak at all but to tell the fat world that it's okay to salt your meat and put more beef on a bun because you don't want too much bread is rediculous! I know I sound like a fanatic to rant about this, but come on. Obesity really bothers me, and I hate to think that it could just be another standard of life here pretty soon.
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29. Posted by hex27@att.net on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:33 pm PDT

A mixture of chuck and sirloin with salt, pepper, celery salt, hickory salt and minced onion makes a perfect burger. Lettuce masks the taste of beef. A good strong cheese to stand up to the beef is also helpful.
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30. Posted by leonard s on Thu, Sep 03, 2009, 1:57 pm PDT

If you need a leaner beef burger use 93% lean hamburger and chop a 1/4 cup of sweet onion (fine) and mix it with 1/4 lb of meat, mix together and let sit in the refrigerator for at least 1/2 hour. Cook until medium rare. The onion will restore moisture and add some flavor. This works for those of us who are on low fat diets(like me).
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