What NOT to Do in a Restaurant

Posted Mon, Feb 25, 2008, 3:55 pm PST

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I love my customers. They are not just the lifeblood of my business, they often become my friends. However, there are some very naughty customers that have helped me to define exactly what not to do when you go out to a restaurant. I have categorized them by type:

The Self-Seaters
Some New Yorkers just can't wait for anything and that includes waiting for their host/hostess to seat them. They walk straight in and claim the table they want. Even if someone is sitting there. (Trust me, this happened).

The Overbookers
It's like saving seats in gradeschool: they call up and reserve a table for 6 even if they only have 2 coming.

The Chronic Cancellers
Related to the Overbookers, the Chronic Cancellers like to make reservations at different spots in the city and then last minute, cancel the ones that they decided against. I don't mind cancellations once in awhile, (it happens, I do it too) but when you do it all the time, you get marked in the quite sophisticated computer systems as a Canceller.

The Overeager
They book at 9pm table, but had really wanted a 7:30 table, which wasn't available. They show up at 7:30 anyway for a table that does not exist. It pressures the front desk and stresses them out. This tactic can only work if you are very charming, kind, and really don't mind waiting for your appointed time if nothing comes up beforehand.

The Oversexed
Yes, people do have sex in bathrooms of restaurants. It happens more than you think. And what may seem novel and risqué for them is actually just run-of-the-mill and tacky to those in the know who work at the restaurant.

The Undertippers
15% is so 15 years ago. If you have had exceptional service at a restaurant and the food was fantastic, 20% is the new standard. If you did not have a good experience, that is a different story altogether.

The Lingerers
I never rush any tables at my restaurants. As a diner I hate it when someone offers you the check before you have finished your dessert course. But if you linger for over an hour after all the dessert has been cleared, its probably time to go.

The Chefs
Some of my customers are true gourmands. They really know their stuff. But there are some individuals who believe they know better than the chef what combinations should be on the menu, and they request for the dishes to be cooked in their way... even when we know it will not taste good. When we try to comply, and it doesn't work out, they can't say we didn't warn them!

The Dieter
Related to The Chef, this customer thinks they are at Canyon Ranch. They want to have everything on the menu, but the fat-free version with anything and everything that tastes good omitted on the side. Meg Ryan was cute as Sally in the movie, but in real life, it's not so charming.

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10 Comments

1. Posted by mlulu0616 on Mon, Mar 17, 2008, 10:38 pm PDT

20% tip? Since when did that come from?
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2. Posted by Richard F on Mon, Mar 31, 2008, 3:12 pm PDT

If I get exceptional service at a restaurant and the food was fantastic, sure 20% is okay. I'll also mention the exceptional service to the manager. If I get substandard service and the food isn't up to par, I also mention that to the manager and I tip accordingly.
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3. Posted by MistressKitten on Tue, Apr 01, 2008, 2:59 am PDT

Wow, I didn't know I was a bad customer just because I'm health conscious. The only reason I really eat out is to go out and socialize with my friends who aren't health nuts. Gosh, I had no idea asking them to leave the sauce off the dish was so offensive, I guess I'll just save my money and order a water.
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4. Posted by abkrines on Mon, Apr 07, 2008, 12:42 pm PDT

This blog is right on spot. I've been in the restaurant buis for years. People have no idea how rude they can be. 9 out of 10 people are great. The trick is not to let one idiot ruin your day.So about tipping. The people on this blog so far are tipical cheap skates. Are you telling me a 2 dollar tip on a 10 dollar lunch is to much? You should just pack your lunch if you dont want to tip. Servers a taxed on 8 pecent of there gross sells. So if you are a non tipper or cheep skate and you dont leave at least 8 percent you actually are costing them money. The first sign of a non tipper ,they always seem unhappy at the get go, hence building there case that the shouldnt have to tip.you can see these people coming a mile away. They are trying to justify being a tight ass. Then of course the only person on earth syndrom.These people yes always want somthing special, dressing on the side, ect. and yes MistressKitten you should save your money, you probably think your doing somone a real favor when you tip 10 percent. The best tippers are fellow restaurant workers. Most of us tip 25 to30 percent or more. What comes around goes around. Treat servers with respect and you will get great service 99 percent of the time.
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5. Posted by Carlton on Sun, Apr 13, 2008, 8:41 pm PDT

What NOT to do in a restaurant: bring food, beverages, etc. from the outside into a restaurant. I've had friends who would bring in a Vitamin Water, Dunkin Donuts coffee, Diet Coke into a restaurant. It gets on my nerves because they do not realize how rude it is. While there is no law against it, it's just downright impolite. When I try to explain this to my friends, they just have no clue. Arrgh... Any ideas how to deal?
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6. Posted by stephanie c on Thu, Apr 17, 2008, 11:36 am PDT

MistressKitten - I don't think she was just talking about someone asking to leave the sauce on the side, but the person who wants every single dish to be prepared without anything remotely fattening including stuff used to actually cook it.
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7. Posted by MistressKitten on Tue, Apr 22, 2008, 2:15 pm PDT

Actually, I always tip at least 20% but hey, if asking for dressing on the side is really that awful abkrines, then screw eating out. You'd probably just spit in my food for asking for something slightly different anyways. God help me if I don't want 2 cups of ranch dressing on my salad, what an awful person I am! I hate to see what you do to people who ask you leave something out because of allergies...
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8. Posted by MistressKitten on Tue, Apr 22, 2008, 2:19 pm PDT

oh, and by the way, I worked as a waitress for 4 years. I really don't understand why someone asking to leave off a sauce or dressing is rude. It's absolutely not rude at all. Some people have dietary restrictions, how do my dietary restrictions translate into my being a crappy tipper?! You've got some anger issues dude, perhaps it's time for a different line of work? I know about taxes too, I have to pay 30% of my income in taxes so I'm well aware of what servers have to pay. That doesn't mean I'm going to get fat and be unhealthy because somehow it makes them feel better...?
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9. Posted by epqrnfany on Sun, Apr 27, 2008, 12:53 pm PDT

I don't understand why waitpersons expect to make that much money. For a table of 4, spending an average of $50 each and staying for 90 mins.; the total bill comes up to $200. A 20% tip would be $40. A waitperson in charge of 4 or 5 tables would clear $106.7 to $133.3 in tips an hour + minimum wage; and only 8% of these is taxable. What kind of training or what do they have to do to make this? Not much. Your family doctors would literally kill to make this kind of money. The IRS gets it right. It taxes 100% of everybody's income, including waitpersons'. By imposing a taxable 8% of gross, the IRS infers that a fair tip should be about 10% of the gross bill, generously allowing 2% for those that do not or under tip.
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10. Posted by sandsuck207 on Thu, May 15, 2008, 8:53 am PDT

You can call me a tightass if you want to, but I won't tip on the amount of my bill. It doesn't take any more work for a waitperson to bring me whatever I order, be it a steak or a hamburger. Why should I pay more for the same service just because my steak cost more that a hamburger. Why not pay the waitstaff minimum wage and cut out the tipping. I don't get tipped when I do the job I'm paid to do. Why should I pay for my food and then half of their wages. The owner should pay their wages not me. Don't get me wrong I do tip, but I tip on service on the amount of my bill.
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